12 Oct A Short Story: Tablecloth.

*This story is entirely a work of fiction.*

(Theatrical Sci-Fi writing practice)

She said:

Well… this is a nice place, don’t you think?

I said:

Yeah… seems like a nice place, what do you want to drink?

She said:

Um… I’ll just have a sparkling water for now until they bring the drink menus.

The Waiter said:

(Places food and drink menus on the table)

Welcome to this fine dining establishment, what can I get yall started with?

I said:

We’ll just start with two glasses of tap water and give us a few minutes to look over the drink and food menus…

The Waiter said:

Of course, I’ll be right back with those waters.

She said:

(Looks confused)

Uh, I said I wanted sparkling water…

I said:

(Nonchalantly)

Yeah, but I think they charge extra for sparkling.

She said:

(Slightly annoyed)

Okay, I see. I’m probably going to get a Vodka and Cranberry, what about you?

I said:

(Stares in the distance for 15 seconds before responding)

Do you think food tastes better when you pay for it first, then get it, or when you get your food first and then pay for it?

She said:
(Really annoyed)

Is that some sort of trick question?

I said:

(Smiles)

No, I just wanted to give you a glimpse of how my mind works. That question, well, knowing the answer, could help further understand human psychology. I’m a scientist at heart and most of our understanding stems from figuring out the answers to questions like that. Does food taste better if you pay for it first, or if you pay for it after you eat? You know?

The Waiter said:

(Returns to the table)

Looks like ya’ll have seen plenty, what type of alcohol can I get you both to drink?

I said:

I’ll take whatever light beer you have on draft and she will have a vodka and cranberry.

The Waiter said:

Wise choices from both of you, I’ll be right back with those.

I said:

(Slightly concerned)

The waiter seems a bit… unusual, wouldn’t you say?

She said:

(Nervously laughs, but speaks affirmatively)

I was literally just about to say that. Definitely getting weird vibes from that dude.

I said:

(Looks at the menu)

Looks like they have some decent food at this place.

She said:

(Smiles and looks through the menu)

Yeah, it does. I’ve never been here before, but a lot of the stuff looks delicious.

I said:

(Takes out a travel-sized container of baby powder from shirt pocket and slowly slides it to the middle of the table while speaking)

Shorty, tell me why I keep seeing your eyes move towards looking at the most expensive items on the menu like you’re affluent with market pricing all of a sudden?

She said:

(Laughs a real, wholehearted laugh)

Charming me with the baby powder? I have to say I’ve never had that happen on a date.

I said:

(Laughs)

I’m glad to see you have a sense of humor. I actually planned for that, I stopped at CVS before I got here to get that baby powder.

She said:

(Continues laughing)

That was funny… that was good.

I said:

All jokes a side, why is it that you have not made yourself really available to me the whole time you’ve been sitting here with me?

She said:
(Seems confused)

Make myself available? Obviously I’m making myself available if I’m sitting here with you…

I said:

Shorty, if you’re into me, then when I look into your eyes you should be sitting there naked.

She said:

(Smiles)

Avi, I’m not going to just get naked in the middle of some restaurant.

I said:

That’s not what I meant; I meant when I look into your eyes, I should be able to look into you and see what lies beneath…whenever I want, especially right now.

She said:

(Sassy, higher pitched tone of voice)

Well, then you should have gotten me my sparkling water.

I said:

(Starts writing a poem on the tablecloth)

I met this girl, met her for dinner and quickly realized there’s more beauty to her than she wants people to know and –

She said:

(Blushes)

Avi, you can’t just write a poem on the tablecloth, how am I supposed to keep it?

I said:
(Pulls out a pocketknife)

Oh, I was just going to cut it out before we left and give it to you. No ones ever done that before?

She said:

No, I can’t say that I have. You have such a strange way of being charming…

The Waiter said:

(Returns to the table with the drinks)

Okay, okay, here you go, you fine commoners… here are your specialty drinks…

(He notices what I wrote on the tablecloth)

That certainly is some interesting handwriting that you have there… (Upon completing his sentence, the waiter’s eyes turn completely white and he bangs his head ferociously on the table until he falls to the floor unconscious. The spilled drinks stain the tablecloth with the following words; ‘They want you.’)